What Actually Happens During a Wedding Ceremony? An Ontario Officiant Explains

A wedding ceremony can seem deceptively simple from the other side of the aisle.

There is an entrance, some words are spoken, vows and rings may be exchanged, the couple is pronounced married—and somewhere in the midst of all of it, a legal marriage actually takes place.

But when you're the one planning the ceremony, an important question emerges:

Which parts actually make us married?

The answer is probably less complicated than you think.

Some of the moments we most strongly associate with an Ontario wedding ceremony—the walk down the aisle, the exchange of rings, personal vows, readings, music and even the kiss—aren't what make a marriage legal.

There are specific legal requirements. As a registered Ontario Marriage Officiant, those are the pieces I need to ensure are properly carried out.

But around those requirements is an enormous amount of freedom.

Understanding the difference between what Ontario law requires and what wedding tradition has taught us to expect is one of the best places to begin when creating a ceremony that genuinely belongs to you.

First: What Makes a Marriage Ceremony Legal in Ontario?

Marriage in Ontario is governed by the Marriage Act, R.S.O. 1990, c. M.3.

One of the first requirements is that the person performing the marriage must actually have the legal authority to do so.

The Act sets out who may solemnize marriages, including people registered under the Act through recognized religious bodies and those authorized to perform civil marriages. Ontario also maintains a registry couples can use to confirm whether an officiant is authorized.

For most couples, there must also be a valid Ontario marriage licence before the ceremony takes place. A marriage licence is valid for three months from the date it is issued. In limited circumstances, publication of banns can be used instead.

Then there is the ceremony itself.

And this is where the difference between law and tradition becomes particularly interesting.

Ontario Law Does Not Give Us a Twenty-Minute Wedding Script

The Marriage Act's civil-marriage provision says something rather wonderful in section 24(3):

“No particular form of ceremony is required…”

It then goes on to prescribe the declarations that must occur for a marriage solemnized under that section.

In other words, Ontario law does not tell us that there must be a processional.

It doesn't require a wedding party.

It doesn't require a reading.

It doesn't require you to tell your love story.

It doesn't require personal vows.

It doesn't require an exchange of rings.

And it certainly doesn't require you to kiss.

Those are ceremony choices and traditions.

That distinction is one of the things I wish more couples understood when they begin planning.

There is a legal framework that I, as an officiant, need to honour. Around that framework, however, there is tremendous room to create a ceremony that reflects your relationship, values, families and the kind of wedding you actually want to have.

What Are the Legal Words?

For civil marriages under section 24 of the Marriage Act, there are three important spoken components.

First, each person makes a declaration that they know of no lawful impediment preventing the marriage.

The Act begins that declaration with:

“I do solemnly declare that I do not know of any lawful impediment…”

Each person then speaks directly to the other, in the presence of the officiant and witnesses, beginning:

“I call upon these persons here present to witness…”

and declares that they take the other person to be their lawful wedded wife, husband, partner or spouse.

Afterward, the person solemnizing the marriage makes the legal pronouncement, beginning:

“I, [name], by virtue of the powers vested in me by the Marriage Act…”

and pronounces the couple married.

Those words are quite different from the personal vows you might write yourselves.

And that's an important distinction.

You'll sometimes hear portions of a ceremony described as the Expression of Intent or Expression of Consent. Those can be useful ceremony-planning terms, but they aren't the headings used by the Ontario Marriage Act.

When we're talking about the legal requirements, I think it's helpful to distinguish those statutory declarations from the personal promises a couple chooses to make.

You Need Two Witnesses

This part is much simpler.

Section 25 of the Ontario Marriage Act says:

“Every marriage shall be solemnized in the presence of the parties and at least two witnesses…”

Those witnesses also sign as witnesses to the marriage register entry.

Your witnesses don't have to be your maid of honour and best man.

In fact, you don't need a wedding party at all.

For couples planning an intimate wedding or elopement, this is useful to know. You need the required witnesses, but you certainly don't need ten people standing beside you simply because that's what a wedding is “supposed” to look like.

And Then There Is the Paperwork

The legal responsibilities don't end the moment I pronounce a couple married.

The Marriage Act also contains requirements concerning the marriage register, including the entry made after the marriage has been solemnized and the signatures of the parties and witnesses.

The couple, witnesses and person who performed the marriage also sign the marriage licence or banns documentation immediately after the ceremony.

That paperwork is part of the legal side of getting married.

And with those requirements understood, we can turn our attention to the part most couples are really wondering about:

What do we actually do during the ceremony?

The Processional

This is the entrance.

And despite what decades of weddings and romantic movies may have taught us, there is no single correct way to do it.

One partner can wait at the front while the other walks down the aisle.

You can both have your own processional.

You can walk with a parent.

Both parents.

Your children.

A grandparent.

A friend.

You can walk in together.

You can have a large wedding party, a tiny wedding party or no wedding party whatsoever.

The processional isn't what makes your marriage legal.

It's simply the way we choose to bring you into the ceremony.

And because of that, we can design it around what actually feels right for you.

The Welcome

Once everyone has arrived, I usually begin by welcoming the people gathered.

This does more than announce that the ceremony has begun.

It gives everyone a moment to arrive emotionally, too.

The conversations stop. People settle. Attention shifts toward the two people standing at the front.

We acknowledge where we are and why we've gathered.

Depending on the couple, those opening words might be warm and joyful, quiet and reflective, spiritual, funny or beautifully simple.

The goal is to establish:

We're here. This matters. And something meaningful is about to happen.

Your Story

This is where a personalized ceremony can begin to feel completely different from a generic one.

Not every ceremony needs a lengthy retelling of how a couple met.

But sometimes there is something worth saying about the road that brought two people here.

Perhaps your relationship began in an unexpected way.

Perhaps you've built a family together.

Maybe you've weathered enormous change.

Perhaps everyone attending already knows your story, and what matters more is saying something about who the two of you are together.

When I write a personalized ceremony, I'm not trying to give your guests your complete relationship history.

I'm looking for the threads.

What do you value?

What makes this relationship work?

What have you taught one another?

What are you choosing when you choose marriage?

That's where a ceremony begins to belong specifically to you.

The Legal Declarations

At some point, we also need to move from talking about marriage to actually solemnizing one.

This is where the required legal declarations are incorporated into the ceremony.

I don't think these words need to feel like an interruption.

A thoughtfully written ceremony can move naturally from reflecting upon your relationship and

the meaning of marriage into the moment when you formally make the declarations necessary to marry one another.

The legal requirements matter.

But they don't need to make the ceremony suddenly feel clinical or disconnected from everything surrounding them.

They can simply become part of the progression toward the promises you're about to make.

Your Personal Wedding Vows

This is one of the places where legal language and personal ceremony language can easily become confused.

Your personal wedding vows are the promises you choose to make to one another.

They can be deeply personal.

They can draw from traditional vows.

They can contain humour.

You can write them independently or together.

You can repeat vows after your officiant.

And if speaking deeply personal words in front of everyone you know sounds absolutely dreadful, you can share private vows separately and use simpler promises during the public ceremony.

Your personal vows are an opportunity to say:

This is what I promise you as we enter this marriage.

They should be distinguished from the statutory declarations required for a civil marriage under section 24 of the Ontario Marriage Act.

That means there can be room for both: the legal words that need to be said and the words you want to say.

The Ring Exchange

Then, for many couples, come the rings.

This sometimes surprises people:

Wedding rings aren't what make you legally married.

An exchange of rings isn't among the ceremony requirements prescribed in section 24(3) of the Marriage Act.

Rings are a tradition—but a particularly meaningful one.

I like to think of the exchange of rings as a visible and tangible symbol of the promises that have just been spoken.

A moment ago, those promises existed in words.

Now there is something physical to represent them—something that can be carried into ordinary life long after the wedding day has passed.

If you're exchanging rings, I like to give that moment some context.

Why rings?

What are they meant to represent?

And what does placing this particular ring on this particular person's hand mean to you?

You can also exchange something other than conventional wedding bands.

Or you can choose not to exchange anything at all.

The important thing is understanding that the symbolism belongs to you.

Readings, Music and Rituals

I often choose to place readings or meaningful rituals after the exchange of vows and rings.

There is intention behind that placement.

The couple has just spoken their promises to one another. They have exchanged rings as a visible symbol of those promises. A reading, blessing, piece of music or ceremony ritual can then give us a moment to pause and honour what has just taken place.

Rather than feeling like an additional element we've inserted simply because a wedding ceremony is “supposed” to have one, the ritual becomes part of the unfolding story of the ceremony.

For some couples, that might mean a ring warming, handfasting or another symbolic ritual.

For others, it could be a reading offered by a parent or grandparent, a musical piece performed by someone they love, an acknowledgement of children or family, or a tradition connected to their culture or spirituality.

Sometimes the ritual itself becomes a visual expression of the commitment that has just been made in words.

I think that's particularly powerful.

The vows say:

This is what I promise you.

The rings give those promises a tangible symbol.

And a ritual or reading gives us an opportunity to honour, deepen or reflect upon what has just occurred before moving toward the final pronouncement.

Of course, not every ceremony needs one.

The question I always return to is:

Why is this here?

If a reading or ritual carries genuine meaning for you, we can find the place in the ceremony where that meaning feels most natural.

If it's there simply because you think a wedding ceremony is supposed to have one, we can leave it out.

The Pronouncement

And then we arrive at one of my favourite moments.

For a civil marriage under section 24, after the required declarations have been made, the person solemnizing the marriage makes the statutory pronouncement declaring the couple married.

This is one of those moments when the legal and emotional sides of a wedding ceremony meet.

You've stood together.

You've made the necessary declarations.

You've spoken your promises.

You've exchanged the symbols you've chosen to carry those promises forward.

Perhaps you've marked that commitment through ritual, music or meaningful words from someone you love.

And then comes the declaration:

You're married.

And Yes—Then You Can Kiss

The kiss isn't what makes the marriage legal.

But that doesn't make it any less wonderful.

This is the moment everyone has been waiting for.

So kiss.

Let everybody cheer.

And take a second to actually look at one another.

You just got married.

Signing the Marriage Documents

The signing is another part couples sometimes assume must happen at a particular point in the ceremony.

What matters is that the required documentation is properly completed in accordance with Ontario law.

Ontario's current marriage-licence guidance says the spouses, witnesses and person who performed the marriage need to sign the licence or banns immediately after the ceremony.

This is also one of the reasons having an authorized officiant matters.

While you should be able to experience the emotion of your ceremony, someone needs to be paying attention to the legal requirements and documentation.

That's part of my job.

The Recessional

Then comes one of the happiest walks you'll ever take.

The music starts.

You turn toward all of those people who have just witnessed what happened.

And you head back down the aisle together.

Except this time, you're married.

So What Does a Wedding Ceremony Actually Look Like?

For many of the ceremonies I create, the flow looks something like this:

Processional

You and your wedding party enter.

Welcome and Opening Words

Everyone is welcomed and the ceremony begins.

Your Story or Reflections on Marriage

Something personal about the two of you and the commitment you're making.

Required Legal Elements

The applicable declarations necessary to legally solemnize the marriage.

Personal Wedding Vows

The promises you've chosen to make to one another.

Ring Exchange

A visible and tangible symbol of the promises you've just made.

Reading, Music or Ceremony Ritual

An optional opportunity to honour, symbolize or deepen the commitment that has just taken place.

Pronouncement

You're declared married.

The Kiss

Celebrate accordingly.

Signing

The marriage documentation is completed.

Recessional

Off you go.

But that's a framework, not a rule book.

Your ceremony might rearrange some of those pieces.

It might contain more.

It might contain considerably less.

And that's precisely the point.

The Order of a Ceremony Can Tell a Story

I don't think the elements of a wedding ceremony should simply be assembled like items on a checklist.

Their placement can have meaning too.

We begin by gathering.

We acknowledge the relationship that brought you here.

Then we move toward commitment.

The necessary legal declarations are made.

You speak your personal promises.

The rings make those promises visible.

A reading, piece of music or ritual can give us an opportunity to pause and honour what has just happened.

And then we move toward the pronouncement and celebration.

There is an arc to it.

Each moment leads naturally toward the next.

That's part of what thoughtful ceremony writing can do: take a collection of words, legal requirements, traditions and meaningful moments and weave them together so that they feel like

one ceremony rather than a series of separate parts.

The Legal Framework Is Only Part of the Ceremony. The Meaning Is Yours.

Couples sometimes approach ceremony planning believing there is a very specific wedding script we're all supposed to follow.

There isn't.

Ontario law gives us requirements that need to be respected. As an officiant, I take those responsibilities seriously.

But within that legal framework, there is enormous room for the ceremony itself to feel personal.

We can honour the law and create something beautiful.

We can include tradition without being controlled by it.

We can make room for your families, your cultures, your children, your stories, your humour, your grief and your spirituality—or create something entirely secular.

Your ceremony can be intimate and simple or layered with readings, stories and ritual.

It can happen beneath an old tree, beside the water, in a beautiful wedding venue or in your own backyard.

It can be elaborate.

It can be wonderfully simple.

What matters is that when you're standing there together, the ceremony feels less like something being performed at you and more like something that belongs to you.

Because fulfilling the legal requirements is what allows the marriage to be solemnized.

Everything we create around them gives us the opportunity to say something about why you're choosing this marriage in the first place.

A Little About Me

I'm Brittany Shannon, a Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant® and registered Ontario Marriage Officiant based in Prince Edward County.

I create ceremonies ranging from intimate elopements and simple ring-and-vow exchanges to fully personalized wedding ceremonies built around a couple's story, values and relationships.

Part of my role is creative: helping couples find the words, traditions and moments that make a ceremony feel like their own.

And part of my role is legal: ensuring that the marriage is solemnized in accordance with Ontario law and that the required marriage documentation is properly completed.

If you're planning a wedding in Prince Edward County or the surrounding area and would like help creating a ceremony that is both legally sound and genuinely meaningful, explore my wedding ceremony services.